A Few Internet Chat Logs

stormrider: I should bomb something
stormrider: ...and it's off the cuff remarks like that that are the reason I don't log chats
stormrider: Just in case the FBI ever needs anything on me
elzie_ann: I'm sure they can just get it from someone who DOES log chats.
*** FBI has joined #gamecubecafe
fbi: We saw it anyway.
*** FBI has quit IRC (Quit: )

Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh shit!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...

scirdsl: I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.

daze: at my school.. the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show everyone... and he said "if i dont get all three of these back this schools getting locked down and everyones getting searched till i find it.." and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see 'em and they got passed back the cop had 4

gentoogod: omg dude
gentoogod: today i might the stupidest 3 people i ever met
gentoogod: thier 3 brains combined couldnt solve the dilemma they faced today
siral21: what was it
gentoogod: ok before i say this
gentoogod: 100% true, not one second of a lie
gentoogod: this lady went into mcdonalds today and ordered a big mac for her
gentoogod: and ordered 2 mcgrittles one for each kid. one had bacon one without
gentoogod: her sons are around 18 or 19 so not infants
gentoogod: she went to the counter furious cause the son that wanted bacon has no bacon on his and the one that didnt want bacon has bacon on his
gentoogod: i fell on the floor beside her and couldnt stop laughing
gentoogod: so i finally stood up and asked her to repeat, thinking maybe shes drunk
gentoogod: i swear to god she looked at me straight faced and repeated it. and her 2 sons were beside her mad that they didnt get the order they wanted

kyourek> There was a 23% drop in temperature.
nappyjallapy> That's almost 25%!
kyourek> ... That was one of the most worthless comments I've ever heard.

skrike> I think the people above me are having sex
skrike> either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing with each other a lot.


> we're on our way back from partying in NYC over the weekend ... it was like sunday afternoon we're headed back west
<> we're cruisin... maybe 130-140mph
<> flew past a trooper on the side of the road
<> trooper lights up ... siren blasting ... chasing us down the highway
<> we're both like should we stop ... there's no way he can catch up to us
<> we decided to be good and stop
<> cop catches up to us ... comes out gun drawn ... pissed as hell
<> walks up to the side of the car and goes
<> "SON CAN I SEE YOUR PILOT'S LICENSE"
<> Jason pulls out his pilot's license
<> cop's jaw hits the ground
<> most stunned face I've ever seen
<> in this practically a whimper goes "get out of here"
<> no ticket... too embarassed apparently
<> I'll never forget that day long as I live
<> I was sure we were goin to jail

reptile-> The first time hypr opened a box of Cheerios and looked inside he yelled, "OH WOW! DONUT SEEDS!"
hypr> what r are donut seeds

samsim> I heard about this guy who broke into a lion's den at the zoo
samsim> and got mauled
samsim> and people were talking about how there should have been better defences put up to prevent people getting into the cage
samsim> a friend of mine suggested setting up some kind of deterrent
samsim> for example, putting some sort of fierce animal in the cage, which would attack anybody who climbed in

Jakefeb3: do you know a turtles only weakness?
AvatarOfSolusek: no
AvatarOfSolusek: well
AvatarOfSolusek: thier slowness
Jakefeb3: there weakness is they cant roll over when they are on their backs
AvatarOfSolusek: lol
Jakefeb3: now i have a plan
Jakefeb3: if i duck tape 2 turtles together they are unstoppable

raize> can you guys see what I type?
vecna> no, raize
raize> How do I set it up so you can see it?

blackdeth> i like stalked this girl sorta Very Happy
blackdeth> like once she asked me for a ride home from work
blackdeth> and i took her home... i dropped her off at her house
blackdeth> and shes like... wait a minute..how did you know where i lived?

reuben> somebody keeps jiggling the doorknob on my front door, then running away
reuben> i don't know if i should call the police, or hook up some electricity to the doorknob
cristobal> why don't you put ice on the stairs
cristobal> and heat up the door knob
cristobal> and swing paint buckets down from your two story foyer
cristobal> then a few years later, fade from the public eye.....

meph|st0> Complaint : BOUGTH IT FOR MY COUSIN WHO HAD CANCER, ITEM NEVER ARRIVED AND MY COUSIN DIED
meph|st0> thats the greatest ebay feedback i have ever seen

blazemore> LITTLETON, Colo. - Colorado officials plan to try a 15-year-old boy as an adult for allegedly offering a Sony PlayStation to have his aunt killed.
fliptopbx> is it modded?

cyan> Some dude tried to break in last night at like 2am, but I was on the comp and it's like right beside the window so I heard the an archaic unit of measurement for bundles of sticks.
cyan> Anyways, I grabbed the folding chair and as soon as he was like halfway through I beat the crud out of him.
cyan> So he's laying here unconscious and I call the cops. Once they get here, they search him and look at what he had:
cyan> 8 track tape (unlabeled), Flashlight (no batteries), Half eaten box of Fig Newtons, Measuring tape, Instructions to "Monopoly."
dan> Dude, you killed McGuyver!

green> We vegetarians love the environment. carnivores are sick freaks.
frank> How can vegetarians possibly love the environment.. you keep eating all the plants

pihlopase> Jesus Saves
jbroome> pases to moses, SCOOOOORE

aryov> This cake is soooo good
aryov> it's like sex, except I'm having it

kuiper> Well, it rained today, but as a whole it's been warmer than it was last week.
kikuichimonji> Why does it seem like every time you join this channel, you end up talking about the weather?
kikuichimonji> Is your life so unimaginably dull that you can't think of any events in your life to describe that might be more interesting than the weather?
kikuichimonji> Let's think of something for you to talk about other than the weather.
kikuichimonji> I mean, we barely even know anything about you, other than where you live.
kikuichimonji> Let's start there. What do you do for a living?
kuiper> I'm a meteorologist.

edofnor> #1 pickup line of all time: "Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

eyesofprisms> and ou are an uytter newb
kc48348751> dude
kc48348751> how did that y move over like 12 characters


tron> if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN

kritical> christin: you need to learn how to figure out stuff yourself..
Christin1> how do i do that

Malagmyr> This linguistics professor was lecturing the class.
Malagmyr> "In English," he explained, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative."
Malagmyr> "However," the professor continued, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
Malagmyr> Immediately, a voice from the back of the room piped up: "Yeah..... right...."

Thumb> do you know of any major organizations that are similar the CDC?
Lucent> who?
Thumb> center for disease control
Lucent> i said WHO
Thumb> what? i'm asking you
Lucent> World Health Organization

Egger: Heres the history of our medicine.
"I have a sore throat."
2000 BC : "eat this root"
1200 AD : "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1500 AD : "That prayer is superstition, drink this elixir."
1800 AD : "That elixir is snake oil, Take this pill."
1900 AD : "That pill is ineffective, Take this antibiotic."
2000 AD : "That antibiotic is artificial, Here why dont you eat this root."

Firefly> Time for my prayers:
Firefly> Our Father, who 0wnz heaven, j00 r0ck!
Firefly> May all 0ur base someday be belong to you!
Firefly> May j00 0wn earth just like j00 0wn heaven.
Firefly> Give us this day our warez, mp3z, and pr0n through a phat pipe.
Firefly> And cut us some slack when we act like n00b lamerz, just as we teach n00bz when they act lame on us.
Firefly> Please don't give us root access on some poor d00d'z box when we're too pissed off to think about what's right and wrong, and if you could keep the fbi off our backs, we'd appreciate it.
Firefly> For j00 0wn r00t on all our b0x3s 4ever and ever, 4m3n.

Crucial> whats a quick way to push ipconfig /release, ipconfig /renew to 50 or
so workstations
Mo> cycle power to the building

McMoo> wouldn't it be great if someone made a program where we could connect to a server and chat with each other in channels we create?