BIBLE SALES

If this doesn't make you laugh just go ahead and close your casket!!!

A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious
financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered
several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and
distributed.

So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the
congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for
$10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.

Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.

The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen
and were likely capable of selling some bibles. But he had serious
doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to
himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor
Louie stuttered badly. But, NOT WANTING TO discourage Louie, the
minister decided to let him try anyway.

He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked
with bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the results of
their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.

Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately
asked Jack, "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our bibles last
week?"

Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my sales
prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the $200 I collected
on behalf of the church."

"Fine job, Jack!" The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. "You
are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."

Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many bibles did you sell for the Church
last week?"

Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "I am a
professional salesman. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and
here's $280 I collected."

The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are
truly a professional salesman! and the church is indebted to you."

Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, "And Louie, did
you manage to sell any bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the
minister a large envelope.

The minister opened it and counted the contents. "What is this?"
the minister exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you
suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door to door, in
just one week?"

Louie just nodded. That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in
unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10
times as many bibles as we could."

"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie."

Louie shrugged. "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f -for
sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.

Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell
us what you said to them when they answered the door!"

"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louie replied, "W-w-w-w-would
y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible
F-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you
j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-he re and
> > >> r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you??"