Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is usually the husband. When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But somehow I always had
something else to take care of first: the truck, the car, e-mail, fishing, always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. 'When you finish cutting the grass,' I said, 'you might as well sweep the driveway.'
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER
Monday, June 2, 2008
The Kern County, California, Sheriff's Department orders plain white patrol units and has the graphics applied locally. In this case, what they ordered was not quite what they got.This car was driven for 1 week before an officer noticed what the graphics company employee did on the passenger side of the car. The employee did this on his last day working for the graphics company before he retired.
In a small Texas town, a new bar/tavern started a building to house
their business. The local Baptist church started a campaign to block
the bar from opening with petitions and prayers.
Work progressed, however, right up until the week before opening,
when a lightning strike hit the bar and burned it to the ground.
The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, until
the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was
ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through
direct or indirect actions or means. The church vehemently denied
all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise in its
reply to the court.
When the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the
paperwork. At the hearing he commented, 'I don't know how I'm
going to decide this, but as it appears from the paperwork, we have
a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire
church congregation who doesn't.'
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
Thursday, May 8, 2008
NEWS
Police: Motorcyclist flipped bird, popped wheelie, crashed
(05-05) 16:41 PDT Copiague, N.Y. (AP) --
A Long Island man who flipped his finger at a police cruiser and then popped a wheelie on his motorcycle is recovering from injuries after crashing.
Suffolk County Police said Frank Patti, 26, of West Islip, rode by the police car at a service station in Copiague at 7:30 p.m. Sunday. Police say Patti made an obscene gesture to two officers in the car, popped a wheelie and then sped away.
Police gave chase.
When the motorcycle turned into a parking lot it crashed into a police car that had joined the chase.
Police said Patti was treated for minor injuries at Southside Hospital. He's charged with fleeing police, resisting arrest and several traffic violations.
He was being held for arraignment Monday. Police did not know if he had an attorney.
Cops trap man in lie when he identifies himself as felon
(05-06) 17:06 PDT Sheboygan, Wis. (AP) --
A male who lied to Sheboygan police to hide his unpaid traffic citations almost got himself into far more serious trouble. Police said they stopped a vehicle Saturday for improper registration. One passenger identified himself to police, who ran a check on that name.
It turned out to be the name of someone who has an active felony warrant for vehicular homicide.
When the passenger found out, he quickly gave police his real name. He said he lied earlier because he has outstanding traffic fines in another state and wasn't sure whether there was a warrant out for him.
The male was arrested on an obstruction charge.
Before he was released, police verified through photos and fingerprints that he wasn't the vehicular-homicide suspect.
Students claim police chief who shot himself was careless
(05-06) 17:06 PDT RIVERDALE, Utah (AP) --
The police chief who shot himself in the ankle was waving a loaded pistol and being careless, according to two students who were attending his class to qualify for a concealed-weapons permit. "We were told the gun is the chief's personal sidearm, but it looked to me like he didn't know anything about the gun," Lewis Walker said.
Bart Ulm, another student seeking certification to carry a concealed weapon, said he was surprised Chief Dave Hansen was using a loaded gun to show how it worked.
"Right then, I was very leery, because there's no need to have live ammo in a gun in the class. But I figured he's the chief, so he must know what he's doing," Ulm told the Standard-Examiner of Ogden.
Hansen held the Glock 40 under a table to disassemble it when a bullet fired, Walker said.
The chief cried, "I'm hit," and fell over. Students who were screaming "Officer down!" were urged to call 911.
The gun went off in a conference room Saturday at Riverdale police headquarters.
Hansen was taken to McKay-Dee Hospital in Ogden for surgery and released Monday, Lt. James Ebert said.
Ebert said the findings of an internal investigation would be announced Wednesday. He declined to offer specifics but disputed the accounts of Ulm and Walker, describing the pair as "disgruntled."
Other students "did not share that feeling" about the chief, Ebert told The Associated Press.
Walker said he didn't have confidence in the investigation.
"I think Riverdale police are just trying to keep this quiet and act like the chief is a hero. But if you ask me, he's really stupid," Walker said. "His state certification to teach concealed-weapons classes should be taken away from him. This was totally gross negligence."
Ulm said there was a moment of levity during the emergency.
He said an officer at the scene joked that "instead of shooting himself, he should have used the Taser."
