Thursday, May 29, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Police: Motorcyclist flipped bird, popped wheelie, crashed
(05-05) 16:41 PDT Copiague, N.Y. (AP) --
A Long Island man who flipped his finger at a police cruiser and then popped a wheelie on his motorcycle is recovering from injuries after crashing.
Suffolk County Police said Frank Patti, 26, of West Islip, rode by the police car at a service station in Copiague at 7:30 p.m. Sunday. Police say Patti made an obscene gesture to two officers in the car, popped a wheelie and then sped away.
Police gave chase.
When the motorcycle turned into a parking lot it crashed into a police car that had joined the chase.
Police said Patti was treated for minor injuries at Southside Hospital. He's charged with fleeing police, resisting arrest and several traffic violations.
He was being held for arraignment Monday. Police did not know if he had an attorney.
Cops trap man in lie when he identifies himself as felon
(05-06) 17:06 PDT Sheboygan, Wis. (AP) --
A male who lied to Sheboygan police to hide his unpaid traffic citations almost got himself into far more serious trouble. Police said they stopped a vehicle Saturday for improper registration. One passenger identified himself to police, who ran a check on that name.
It turned out to be the name of someone who has an active felony warrant for vehicular homicide.
When the passenger found out, he quickly gave police his real name. He said he lied earlier because he has outstanding traffic fines in another state and wasn't sure whether there was a warrant out for him.
The male was arrested on an obstruction charge.
Before he was released, police verified through photos and fingerprints that he wasn't the vehicular-homicide suspect.
Students claim police chief who shot himself was careless
(05-06) 17:06 PDT RIVERDALE, Utah (AP) --
The police chief who shot himself in the ankle was waving a loaded pistol and being careless, according to two students who were attending his class to qualify for a concealed-weapons permit. "We were told the gun is the chief's personal sidearm, but it looked to me like he didn't know anything about the gun," Lewis Walker said.
Bart Ulm, another student seeking certification to carry a concealed weapon, said he was surprised Chief Dave Hansen was using a loaded gun to show how it worked.
"Right then, I was very leery, because there's no need to have live ammo in a gun in the class. But I figured he's the chief, so he must know what he's doing," Ulm told the Standard-Examiner of Ogden.
Hansen held the Glock 40 under a table to disassemble it when a bullet fired, Walker said.
The chief cried, "I'm hit," and fell over. Students who were screaming "Officer down!" were urged to call 911.
The gun went off in a conference room Saturday at Riverdale police headquarters.
Hansen was taken to McKay-Dee Hospital in Ogden for surgery and released Monday, Lt. James Ebert said.
Ebert said the findings of an internal investigation would be announced Wednesday. He declined to offer specifics but disputed the accounts of Ulm and Walker, describing the pair as "disgruntled."
Other students "did not share that feeling" about the chief, Ebert told The Associated Press.
Walker said he didn't have confidence in the investigation.
"I think Riverdale police are just trying to keep this quiet and act like the chief is a hero. But if you ask me, he's really stupid," Walker said. "His state certification to teach concealed-weapons classes should be taken away from him. This was totally gross negligence."
Ulm said there was a moment of levity during the emergency.
He said an officer at the scene joked that "instead of shooting himself, he should have used the Taser."
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
So I took her to a gas station!!
Monday, May 5, 2008
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" .... that will bring on a "whatever").
(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F___ YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the
Husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body
Because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate
Some of her own skin. However, the on ly skin on her body
That the doctor felt was suitable would have to come
From her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they
would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they
requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After
All, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was
completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face.
He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his
Friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful
Beauty! One day, he was alone wi th his wife, and he was
overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, 'Dear,
I just want to thank you for everything you did for me.
How can I possibly repay you?'
'My darling,' she replied,
'I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother
kiss you on the cheek.'
The current list:
- Scrooge McDuck 28.8 Billion
- Ming the Merciless 20.9 Billion
- Richie Rich 16.1 Billion
- Mom (Futurama) 15.7 Billion
- Jed Clampett 11.0 Billion
- C. Montgomery Burns 8.4 Billion
- Carter Pewterschmidt 7.2 Billion
- Bruce Wayne 7.0 Billion
- Thurston Howell, III 6.3 Billion
- Tony Stark 6.0 Billion
- Fake Steve Jobs 5.7 Billion
- Gomez Addams 2.0 Billion
- Willy Wonka 1.9 Billion
- Lucius Malfoy 1.6 Billion
- Princess Peach 1.3 Billion
The list in 2002:
Thursday, May 1, 2008
(04-30) 05:28 PDT Santa Cruz, CA (AP) --
A mother's frantic 911 plea for help finding her injured teen son lost in the Santa Cruz Mountains led to an expensive search that ended with rescuers locating the youth stoned on drugs.
Eighteen-year-old Matthew Rosenberg had used his cellular telephone Monday night to call his mom and tell her he tripped, broke his leg and was lost.
But Cal Fire Capt. Bill Finch says the Los Gatos High School senior didn't break his leg, adding the teen had apparently swallowed hallucinogenic mushrooms, possibly dropped some acid and just "thought" his leg was broken.
Finch says the teen "was really gorked" when rescuers found him standing at the bottom of a ravine. The cost of the search was estimated at up to $10,000.
The teen's father Mark Rosenberg says the boy will be punished, adding "he probably won't get to use the car for a while."
I hope the parents get to pay the search cost.
And I'm so thrilled the father will take away the car! Give me a break